How to help your child talk: everyday strategies that work

The most effective way to help a child talk is to be responsive: notice what your child is interested in, wait for them to communicate, and then add language to it. Research on parent-implemented language strategies shows that this everyday style produces real gains in both understanding and talking, without flashcards, drills or special equipment. This guide explains the core strategies, then shows how to use them with babies, toddlers and preschoolers.

Why parents are the key

Children learn language through thousands of small back-and-forth exchanges with the people who care for them. A speech-language pathologist might see a child for an hour a week. A parent is there for every meal, bath and bedtime. That is why most early language programs in Ontario, including the parent groups run by Preschool Speech and Language agencies, focus on coaching parents rather than treating the child directly.

The evidence supports this. A meta-analysis by Roberts and Kaiser (2011) pooled studies of parent-implemented language interventions and found meaningful improvements in children’s receptive and expressive language, with effects comparable to clinician-delivered therapy on several measures. The strategies in those programs are the ones below. They come from the same tradition as The Hanen Centre’s It Takes Two to Talk program, developed in Toronto and used widely across Canada.

The core strategies

Observe, wait and listen (OWL)

OWL is the foundation of Hanen-style programs. Observe what your child is looking at, doing and feeling. Wait, stopping what you are doing and saying, so your child has a chance to start the interaction. Listen to any sound, word or gesture and treat it as communication.

Waiting is the hard part. Count silently to five or ten while looking at your child with an expectant face. Many adults fill silences within a second, which takes away the child’s turn. When you wait, children often surprise you with a look, a point, a sound or a word that you would otherwise have talked over.

Get face to face

Sit on the floor, kneel, or lift your child to your level. Being face to face lets your child see your mouth and expressions, and it tells them you are available. It also makes it much easier for you to observe.

Follow your child’s lead

Talk about what your child is paying attention to, not what you want them to attend to. If they are stacking blocks, the words are “block”, “up”, “more”, “fall”, “uh-oh”. If they switch to the cat, switch with them. Children learn words fastest when the word matches what is already in their mind. Joining your child’s play, imitating their actions and copying their sounds also keeps them engaged longer.

Label

Name things, actions and feelings as they happen. “Spoon. Big spoon. Spoon in.” “You’re pushing. Push, push.” “You look sad.” Keep labels short and say them more than once. Hold the object near your face when you name it so your child sees your mouth and the object together.

Parallel talk and self-talk

Parallel talk is narrating what your child is doing: “You’re pouring water. Pouring. All gone.” Self-talk is narrating what you are doing: “I’m cutting the apple. Cut, cut. Here’s a piece.” Both give a steady stream of words tied to actions, with no demand on the child to respond.

Expand

When your child says a word, say it back and add one more. “Dog” becomes “Big dog” or “Dog barking”. “More” becomes “More juice”. Keep it one step above where your child is. For a child using single words, model two words. For a child using two words, model three. Expansions give your child the next thing to try without any correction.

Recast

A recast repeats your child’s sentence with the grammar fixed, naturally, as part of the conversation. Child: “Him goed outside.” Parent: “Yes, he went outside.” Child: “Two cat.” Parent: “Two cats! Two fluffy cats.” You are not asking your child to repeat anything. Over time, hearing the correct form right after their own attempt helps children adjust their grammar.

Comment more than you question

Questions such as “What’s that?” and “What colour is it?” are tests. Too many of them make a child go quiet. Aim for several comments for every question, and when you do ask, choose questions that give a real choice (“apple or pear?”) or invite sharing (“I wonder what happens next”).

Offer choices

Hold up two things and name them: “Milk or water?” Choices give a reason to communicate, a model to copy, and an immediate reward when it works.

Repeat in routines

Daily routines (dressing, meals, bath, diaper changes, bedtime) repeat the same words every day in the same order. That repetition is exactly what young children need. Pick a few target words for each routine and use them every time. “Arms up. Shirt on. Head through. All done!”

Sing and rhyme

Songs with actions, finger plays and nursery rhymes combine rhythm, repetition and predictable words. Pause before the last word of a familiar line (“Twinkle, twinkle, little…”) and wait for your child to fill it in. Rhyme also builds early awareness of sounds, which supports later reading.

Read together every day

Books do not need to be read word for word. Point to and name pictures, let your child turn pages, ask them to find things, and talk about what the characters are doing and feeling. Re-reading the same book many times is good, not boring. Our guide on reading books to build language has more detail by age.

Screens: what the evidence says

The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends no screen time for children under 2 years, less than one hour a day of routine or regular screen time for children aged 2 to 5, no screens for at least an hour before bed, and co-viewing whenever a screen is on. The reasoning is not that screens are harmful in themselves. It is that time in front of a screen replaces time in responsive, face-to-face interaction, which is where language is learned.

Research backs this up. A meta-analysis by Madigan and colleagues (2020) in JAMA Pediatrics found that more screen time in young children was associated with lower language skills, while co-viewing and higher-quality content were associated with better language outcomes. Children learn words far more readily from a live person than from a video of the same person.

Practical steps: keep screens off during meals and play, turn off background television (it reduces the amount parents talk and children play), and when you do use a screen, sit with your child and talk about what you see, then carry the words into real life afterward.

Strategies by age

The same ideas apply at every age, but what they look like changes. The milestones referenced below are from the ASHA 2023 communication milestones, endorsed by Speech-Language & Audiology Canada, and you can check them in the free milestone checklist.

Birth to 12 months

Treat every sound your baby makes as a turn in a conversation. Copy their coos and babbles, then wait for them to go again. Name what they look at, and use gestures with your words (wave while saying “bye-bye”, point while saying “look”). Babies who are pointed to and who point themselves tend to have larger vocabularies later. Sing the same few songs often, with actions.

12 to 24 months

This is where OWL does the most work. Wait after everything you say. When your toddler points or says a word, give them the word plus one: “Ball. Big ball.” Offer choices at snack time and during play. Build a few target words into each routine. Keep a running list of words to see progress, using the toddler word counter. If your child is not using words by 18 months or has fewer than 50 by 24 months, our guide on what parents of late talkers can do explains the next steps.

2 to 3 years

Expand two-word phrases into three or four. Recast grammar errors without comment. Use parallel talk during pretend play (“The doll is sleeping. Shh. Night-night, doll.”). Ask fewer “what” questions and make more comments. Speech is getting clearer during this year, and the intelligibility estimator gives a rough sense of how much a stranger would understand.

3 to 5 years

Have real conversations. Take turns telling what happened today, and ask open questions like “What was your favourite part?” Talk about the past and the future to build time words. Play with sounds and rhymes (“What rhymes with cat?”). Retell familiar stories together and let your child fill in more each time. For speech sounds, many children are still working on l, s, r, v, z, ch, sh and th, and the speech sound checker shows when each sound is typically acquired.

Making it stick

Pick two strategies, not ten. Most parents find that waiting and expanding are a good pair to start with. Choose one routine (bath time, snack time) and use them there every day for a week. Once that feels natural, add another routine or another strategy.

Involve everyone who cares for your child, so the same approach happens at daycare and at grandparents’ homes. Notice small changes: more eye contact, more pointing, a new sound, a longer phrase. Progress in language is gradual, and keeping a simple note of new words and phrases makes it visible.

Finally, these strategies help every child, but they are not a substitute for assessment when there is a concern. If your child meets any of the signs in our guide on when to see a speech-language pathologist, Ontario families can self-refer to the free Preschool Speech and Language Program without a doctor’s note. A registered speech-language pathologist can coach you on exactly which strategies fit your child, and the assessment usually brings clarity either way.